Open relationships

My new reality (being single) open my eyes to a new (for me new) kind of relationship...OPEN RELATIONSHIPS.

A definition of an open relationship is two individuals who are in a committed relationship but they can openly fuck with other people. I don´t know yet how I feel about this, If both of the people in the relationship are aware that the other one is having sex with other people, that's okey. Everyone can do what they like, hell 50 shades of grey open up a new kind of sex life to many people, and I you like it go for it. I concluded that if all parties involved have and agreement and are fine with this kind of relationships who I´m to judge.

But, when a guy I was dating told me that we were in an open relationship, I was shock, I didn´t know how I feel about that at the moment, and I came across a blog that really help me, It listed some potential complications (main rule: always practice safe sex, if not the complications could be STDs and pregnancy):

1:  the main complication is what happens once you are with someone else:

a- both of us are in to it

b-neither of us are in to it, and we return to monogamy 

c- one of us is into it and the other isn´t....this is where if we continue with our open relationship one eventually will be unhappy.

2: Your partner could like the other person more:

this can really happen, lets be honest sex is an intimate act, (hey we usually say that we make love with the other person, not sex)...it wouldn´t be a big surprise that my partner or I like more the other and new person, which leave you or your ex lover in the cold with the pants down.

this blog, that i read about it, help me realized that I should do what I really wanted to....and I was not a 100 % comfortable with my partner having sex with other people. I´m a one guy gal. I know that being with one person for the rest of my life can become less than exciting, but I believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, I love being only with one person, having an exclusive relationship, with it ups and downs...when sometimes you want to have sex and your partner is just tired. Yes...I know that this probably makes me uncool...but being honest with my self I´m not an open relationship kind of girl. So the next day I call of that relationship.

What do you all think about open relationships??

Good advice....

Going out or staying in...

Now a days I have everything I need, I love job, my new flat is really nice, white, and has great light, and a comfy couch to read Bet me, by jennifer Crusie for the 10 time,  plus I´m single and loving it. So I dont understand why my friends dont get my desire to stay in on a Saturday night. So I decided to explain why...why is so hard to go out partying.

First of all...I´m absolutely sure that in a disco I will not meet someone that is really worth it, or at least not prince charming, and even though you may be lucky one night, during the first our dancing, as the night continues everything and everyone turns bad, they are drunk, and smelly (because inside every disco of every country of the world, is really hottt), and when it is time for the bar/disco to close, suddenly you are the most attractive girl there, and every guy is trying to take you home, (you or any girl that says yes...is not that they really like you), to see if they can have sex with you that night. But I have to said, that I don´t like that, I like, romance, a nice dinner, or coffee, getting to know the guy before I sleep with him.

Second, if you go out, every time you have to think...what you will put (a nice and short dress...you cant go out with pants, or pj) and always put some make up on, it is like a rule...no sorry more like a obligation that society command us to obey. And I hate that....even when you go out only with your friends, if you are not with make up,or your hair done, you are like a freak  that doesn´t care of her own presentation.

Don´t get me wrong, I love dressing up and using make up; but dressing up and putting on makeup only to go to a jungle of smelly and drunk guys it a NO-NO on my book. 

The best and most fun night out partying, in my case, were those nights that I didnt plan on going out, that I was wearing flats, or snickers, my hair was in up in a bun, and I could dance all night long, comfortable and having fun, with out worrying  if my skirt was short and everyone could see my panties, or if my make up was all right.

Finally, I  lost my best party companion, Lucy (my best friend if you didnt read my previous post), stop going out because she has a boyfriend (I don´t get that...your social life is not over because you are in a relationship...but I will talk about that some other time).

So, that's all...yeah I know that I probably sound like an old lady complaining about the loud music, but the truth is that I prefer staying in, and probably meeting my other half some where else rather than in a disco...maybe in a bus stop...who knows...do some of you feel the same??

But, never the less, sometimes I do go out partying, and I really have fun, but sometimes, like yesterday,  I do go out, I came home at 7 am, and I can´t sleep, because I think why on earth did I go out and didnt stay in.

My best blind date.

I´m back...sorry I was resting at the beach hehe...and I wast able to blog...I had a wonderful time, with my friends, but now I´m back in the city, and back in reality...god I love holidays.

Today I will talk you about my best blind date...First of all lets be honest, blinds date are awful, or at least that´s my opinion. You don´t know the guy, but your friends, boss, sister, cousin, mother, etc say that this person was the perfect match for you...and being a hopeless romantic you cant say no. When they arrived to pick you up, you are all nervous, and don't know what to expect, but you hope that prince charming is down stairs...and he turns out to be everything you dislike in someone, or sometimes they are pretty nice guys but not your perfect match...and that makes your self think...what my friends, boss, sister, cousin and mother thinks about me that they believe that this person was my other half.

Well, I learn to lower my expectations in blind dates...and then I have the best blind dates of all my life...(I guess is true, when you stop looking, good things will come your way). His name is Carlos, I expected someone Latin, you know, big and with black hair, because of the name, and he was the opposite, he was really short, but that was okey, I´m really short my self. He had planned the hole date, we went to a bar, but not any bar...it was a Speakeasy bar (secret bar), (Franks bar, if you came to Buenos Aires you have to go)...like in the Chicago and New York during the 1920s. There is only a small sign over the door saying "Franks"...yeah I thought Carlos took me there, to kill me...when I was starting to get really afraid, he told me, that this was a secret bar, and that he had made a reservation, that I shouldn´t be afraid...I decided to trust him...

when we finally arrived at the door, he gave the password to the doorman (it changes every day, that they was I love yellow), and he told us, that we had to entry a hall where there was a phone booth at the end, and, there we have to enter a code (that the doorman gave us 2,3,4,5)...and the rear of the phone booth turned into the door to the club...I was so mysterious and fun at the same time. The bar inside was really nice, It had a french kind of look, and the drinks were great, the only thing, that it was a little bit awkward for a first date was that there was a "tasteful" sex shop in side the bar...yeah...awkward.

But the date was a blast, he was really cool, and funny, and he clearly thought of a way to impress me,I could believe I never knew about this bar, all the mystery around it make the date even more interested. (If some of you are from Argentina, you should check it out.).

I went out with Carlos two more times...I didn´t work, but I will always remember him, he was the best and most fun blind date I ever had.

LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST AS A SINGLE WOMEN

Once a Friend told me, you have to be content in you singleness before you get married...

I had to think about that long to understand it, that you have to be a whole person before you can offer yourself to someone else, but I wonder if being happy, content, finally accepting your singleness is actually accomplishing being a whole person??...If that was the case, prince charming should be knocking on my door, but the reality is that I don´t think that accepting my single life is accomplishing that.

Don´t get me wrong, I love my single life, I´m content with it, I´m actually attache to it, but I wonder if that's the main reason I´m not in a relationship, but deep down I know the truth (at least for now)  I´m loving my new life, and I don´t know if I could give it up.

All my Valentine days where a remainder that I was alone, or in a relationship, they were never about loving my self, and being happy on my own...Now that I look back, I realize that I was never truly happy that day, I never love my self and celebrate my self loving. You know, in your birthdays everything is about you, but not for me, I´m always checking if everyone is having fun and I´m to stress to have any fun, so I never had that day that revolved around me until this last Valentine´s Day.

My friend, Laura decided we would have a girls night Valentine (yeah she took the idea from the movie Valentine´s day) but her idea was different, we make this great invitations, where we had to put something we like about the girl that we invited, so they feel love, the card I receive was decorated with Nicholas Sparks quotes. The party consisted in a party where you could bring only one plus one...YOUR SELF. And we make that day that reminds us all that we where single, a day that reminds us all how awesome we where, we dance, we sing, we play games, we talk, we drink wine...we had a great self loving night. 

Of course, me and my single girlfriends still have "not so great" days, when we watch sappy love movies, or read Nicholas Sparks novels, or any romance novels...and we know that doesn´t help, but sometimes is necesarry; but after that down day, that you eat all the ice cream in the world, the next day remember to have fun, go out, and have a self loving day.

First time as a single women

Now that I see that some of you have enter (but didnt have time to comment, don't be shy hahaha), I continue...

I do work, I have a job, I work at a company, doing contracts in Spanish, English and Italian, yeah...you probably thought I was some girl like Sarah Jessica Parker in Sex and the City working for a magazine,don´t get me wrong...I would absolutely love to be her...great sex, flawless clothes, and the shoes OMG!!!....nevertheless I do have curly hair, now a days brown (i went blonde for the summer...not a good choice), and I do love great shoes and great sex. But the similarities end there, yeah we are connected like every single lady (if she was a real non fictional person of a tv series) out there, that would probably understand me way better than my best friend Lucy (who is in a 4 year long relationship, on the way to marry the guy).

I am single since last year, officially speaking, I did break up with my ex´s Eduardo about 2 year ago (i know exactly the day that we ended, but putting it would imply that I´m not over him...) but we continued seeing each other for one hole year (yeah...he was the best sex i had ever have, plus I was totally in love with him).

When I call Lucy, the day I finally decided to put an end to it (not my choice, but I saw him with another girl, actually and older women...and I have to end it, I not going to be anybody's second choice, except for Bradley Cooper, hehe.), she told me that everything would be okay  that it was for the best, that she never like him (your best friends always tells you that they don't really like you ex´s once you break up with them...whats up with that?!?), and she bring over the best 2 guys friends a girl can have, ben&jerry. The next morning felling like crap I had to go to the gym.

lets say it took me 3 months to finally go out again with some guy...and Lucy´s boyfriend, Tomas, decided his best friend would be a great match for me...

His name is Pablo, he came up to pick me 30 minutes late, everyone that knows me knows that is a NO-NO in my book but I hadn't have sex in 3 months, and I was starting to get, lets be honest... HORNY.

We went to a bar, to drink beer and do karaoke, the date was actually a mess, Pablo went all night long talking about his ex girlfriend, what he missed about her, and how I was the only girl he felt something for since they broke up (thinking that would get him under my pants, in this actual case my dress), the point was the only way I could continued in this date was by drinking, so I keep drinking beer (yeah main different with SJP I dont drink cosmopolitans, I drink beer...)...the next morning I woke up in his house...I told you I was Horny, plus sex is a proven way to lose weight, and being alone was starting to show, hehe. Since that day Tomas (lucy´s boyfriend) tried to fix me up with Pablo, he thought I was a sure thing...and that only happened once.

So that was the story of my first time as a single woman.

My single Life Today

Well here we go, this is my first blog, and for many things (which maybe I will later tell you about) I stop talking with my psychologist, so I decided to star a blog about my life as single, and maybe some of you girls out there (and boys if you like!) will follow me and my story.

First of all, I am a latina girl, leaving some where in the word (hahaha), now a day Argentina, but my dad is American, and my Mom Italian (I was raise in Italy, and English is my second language so sorry for mistakes), and my ex boyfriend was Latino (that's how I ended here in Argentina but that a different story).

I grow up with this family idea in my head, by the time I was 25, I would be married, or on the way to be....but my reality now is a different one.

I don't considered my self ugly, neither way I not a model, but I am pretty good looking (self love is everything haha), I like reading, watching movies and sports (the majority of the time to see the good looking athletes, but let that be our little secret...), being outdoors, and i am pretty easy going...so here is my shock...WHY THE HELL I´M STILL SINGLE AT 25.

I don't know if some of you feel the same, but when you are single you see happy couples everywhere...and I just think, why it cant be me...and lest be honest, we all thought how on earth that stupid, spoil  arrogant, (or what you wish) girl got a boyfriend and you didn't.

Realizing my attitude towards my situation, I decided that the first step was admitting I was single and being happy about it...and then i realized being single was kind of  awesome, I could go out and be with every guy I wanted...the world was all my (well no with every guy...i not that kind of girl, but I don't judge, if you like that go for it).

So now I have tons of stories from my new single life, my best blind date, and the worst blind date of the history of blind dates of the word, when my best friend boyfriend tried to fix's me up with his best friend (and he still tries...that is never going to happened...again), and maybe I will tell you about the time I fell in love with my psychologist...yeah I know...not cool...but if you saw him you would understand, plus he always had the correct answers (but now that I think about it that was his job). 

So if you are in for and adventure, sometimes crying with me about memories, have a good laugh, shared stories, and see where my singleness takes me, follow me, I´m a 25 years old single girl enjoying life as single, hopping to find the man of my dreams in the way.